I thought Stephanie was off to a great start in this short story. I like the way she starts the story, “Father, I have a confession.” It caught my attention and made me want to read more. I also really liked the line, “The mystery of knowing every secret but not one face upset his digestion, he could not walk to town without wondering, desperate to know…” I thought that was a very interesting way to describe how much the priest wanted to know who came to confess to him. She uses a lot of description throughout the story to show the reader instead of stating facts. I think she is heading in the right direction with this story and I would love to read how she proceeds with it. As a suggestion I think she should consider revising the line, “I pray continue, child. He knew that if they truly believed in divine retribution they would all be crawling at his feel, begging for mercy and forgiveness.” I had a bit of trouble understanding it; maybe the punctuation could be changed to make it clearer. Overall I think she’s doing a great job!
No comments:
Post a Comment