I think Joshua has done a pretty good job with this assignment. I like the way he begins his description, “The black madonna struts with an air of authority…” It made me want to continue reading. I also liked the way he describes this girls thoughts and his interpretation of the paper she was carrying. I think this is a good start but I think he can work on revising this story and adding more detail. It’ll be interesting to see how he can expand it to a nice short story.
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